There is a monkey in our house

I am at least 15 years, and I continued to dream of acquiring a monkey. This dream has long haunted. I spent a lot of time in the monkey of the Moscow zoo, watching, with what grace and at the same thoroughness muzhikovatoy behaved Paris chimpanzees. As slowly and busily unwrapping a candy wrapper, anticipating the pleasure with which the dignity, deftly using a stick, eat popsicles. Get something tasty, he pressed face-to-cell lattice and tube pulled his lips for a kiss, and the elderly servant, not without pride prepend his cheek.

Peter Smolin on trips with young naturalists

No, I did not expect to buy a chimpanzee. It would be simply foolish to dream of such a rare and expensive monkey. I would macaque or, at worst, a monkey. But how to get it? Where? And then – oh joy! – at a meeting of the circle of young naturalists in the museum named after Darwin’s our leader Peter Smolin said, he does not want anyone to take a monkey. Everyone rushed to the old man, shouting: “I’ll take!”. Peter chilled universal enthusiasm and declared that it was a joke. And I had already scared – suddenly get the monkey is not for me. The boys believe that it was just a joke, quickly calmed down and continued to listen to the wonderful stories of extraordinary biologist of animals and birds. And I could not come to his senses, did not hear a word and waited for the end of the conversation, to ask PPS alone (As everyone called behind his miracle-old Smolin – and we, his former students, who grew up in a long time professors, and academics). I felt that no wonder he did mention the monkey.
Home on the subway we went together. Going down the escalator, I began cautiously to ask questions. Peter said immediately that the monkey really is, lives in the name of Durov’s Corner, but she was ill and weakened, require a lot of effort to bring her back to normal. At the same time PPS gave me detailed advice as to her need to go, what to feed.

The night passed without sleep. By the opening of the American Corner, I was standing at his door, full of meeting expectations. Servants in animal Aunt Shura led me to a corner of the monkey cage series: “Here she is, Rita.” In a rather dark and narrow cage sat shabby with melancholy expression of rhesus monkey eyes. Wool was her dirty-gray, seats were showing receding hairline with red skin. Most of all I was struck by Rita method of locomotion. She moved only by hand, relying on them, tightens the body and hind legs, just like a disabled person.
Aunt Shura said that the monkey received from Sukhumi nursery, and she immediately fell into the hands of an experienced trainer, but it turned out to be an evil and a grumpy disposition. Macaque firmly bitten by his teacher and would not wanted to admit it. Another trainer is not allowed even to come close to the cage. Rita’s fate was sealed: for training unfit. She was put in a temporary cage, but there it remained for a long time, sometimes reminding me of themselves attempt to bite or even scratch the unwary worker. Then she showed wonders of ingenuity.
Rita in the corner not vzljubili and no one paid attention to her. She became even more nervous. When the trainer took away from the neighboring cells monkey Luke, and she, happy, hugging his neck, Rita came into a frenzy, taken wildly screaming, beating on the cell grating and biting its leg … So she came to the sad condition in which I did discovered.

Anna Vladimirovna Durova

Without the former enthusiasm I went to the office of artistic director Corner Anna Vladimirovna Durova. Huge office was all hung with portraits of her father, Vladimir Leonidovich Durova, famous clown and trainer. In all the pictures he was shown always with some little animals, confidently located on his knees, on the head or shoulder. When I finally looked up from his paintings, then I saw a tall, slender woman with white hair and stern expression. Anna Vladimirovna is very much like my teacher of mathematics. I shyly told her that he had come from the station of young naturalists park them. Gorky for Rita. Durov critically examined me and asked me to bring an official letter from the young naturalists station and a cage for transportation of monkeys.
After a couple of days with the required letter, printed on a beautiful form, and the cage, or rather, portable cages of pigeons, I appeared before the broad-shouldered and tall young trainer Andrew, who was entrusted with the delivery of a monkey. “Here you’re going to put RITA?” – he asked, not hiding udivleniya.- “She does it all the time would spread!”. His surprise abound, when I said that I would go with his acquisition in the subway. However, we went to Rita. Rita was sitting in the same position and with the same expression on his face. Andrei came close to the cage and slowly lift the door, covering his dense body increasing the hole. Reaching the monkeys, he quietly took her hand, pulled out of the cage and put him in my tank.
From a distance behind us with undisguised curiosity watched the staff area. It turned out that in addition to Andrew to make it, I thought, a simple act no one dared. About courage and strength of this trainer I learned later, when he began working in the area. I remember his foot accidentally stepped three-ton elephant Jenny. Andrew shoes creaked plaintively and raspolzsya at the seams, and Andrew just a little pale and limping, came out of the elephant.

With the SADC in hand, I arrived safely on the tram to the subway and only here, sitting in the train, we finally realized what surprised Andrew. Despite the fact that the monkey and fluttered from the arrogance of Andrew and tightness of the new place of residence, did not submit the slightest signs of life, it still saw the passengers. I had to answer a million questions ( “Where bought?”, “What is eating?”), To listen to a lot of useful advice ( “Do not catch a cold”, “See to it that the dog is not bitten”). Finally, we reached our destination, where we were looking forward to. The monkey was still lying in the cage. Full of significance, I opened the door. After a moment, Rita hung on the head of young naturalists station, gnawed her hand, and she, mad with terror, began to pace the room. I had to rush after them. Fortunately, the lady was quite fat, a rapid run, not adapted, I managed to catch up with her and tear enraged for no reason from a macaque bloodied hands quite a pretty woman, a great lover of animals.
It was my baptism of fire. On the same day Rita bitten another woman, this time not so much. I grabbed the monkey in his arms and slapped her. It’s amazing: in punishing Rita clung tightly to me and glaring at his ohavshuyu and ahavshuyu in a remote corner of the victim, even louder squealing and grunting menacingly. So it was every time thereafter. After another flash of anger, Rita began to gnaw their aching feet.

The administration station of young naturalists fear that Rita could bite children, and assuming she had a mental disorder, has decided to resort to the services of doctor-psychotherapist. I held tightly Rita’s arm, the doctor looked at her. All surprisingly monkey behaved decently, did not try to rush anyone or bite their own feet. It was necessary to show all the symptoms, so I showed sharply Rita finger at the nurse, standing nearby, and said, with inciting tone: “That’s it!»
. The other is not required. Monkey pulled a face such a terrible and so energetically tore her hand from mine, that poor nurse from fear almost fell into a chair and blocking bag. Of course, I continued to keep Rita, and since its fury not find a way out, she grabbed his leg and began to bite. “All clear, all clear” – a tongue twister faltered doctor, apparently having seen that the monkey can escape, and then he will not have to chew my leg …

The next day we got a different medicine: large tablets of vitamin “C”, the little purple pill spondylitis, very bitter. Vitamins Rita so relished that she was ready to swallow them in batches, not sniffing and gnawing. It was not until as long as I did not give it a bitter pill, hoping that the monkey will swallow and will not notice the difference. Rita threw it into his mouth, but then her face crumpled. She instantly raked mouth tablet and began fastidiously wiping her palm on the floor boards.
Behterevsky had forcibly fed. I opened my mouth monkey deeply pushing the pill (at this point it with pained resignation closed eyes) and gently stroking the throat to swallow it.

I do not regret the time for Rita. In the morning, when the garden was Neskuchny few people, I picked it out of a large light enclosure in which it settled on the Rights of rare animal, and went for a walk. Rita marched side by side on the chain and the road tore greens. Trees because of his aching legs for a long time Rita did not even try to climb. Sometimes I even tore the leaves, which she graciously accepted. The first time it is absorbed in the green of an incredible number. Tufts of grass and leaves quickly disappeared in the mouth, but after eating, she did not calm down, and stuffed to bursting their cheek pouches – a rainy day. It was amusing to see how she then used her storage area: widespread as in yawn, opening his mouth, struck the back of her hands on the bag and pushed stocks directly on the tongue
. So we walked for two weeks. Then I felt sorry to restrict the freedom of Rita chain, which it clearly irritated. Often she gave me to understand it. Pulling the chain by hand, plaintively looked into his eyes, Let, they say. However, sometimes hateful Rita found the chain very reasonable application. It very quickly went over her hands moved up and hung in the air, holding it with one hand, then the other, and I was carrying her. So it came mainly in the end of the walk when tired. Finally, I decided to give his pupil a free hand, carefully weighing all the “pros” and “cons.” “Against” was no less than “for”, but I was eager to learn how to react to Rita trust. And so it was decided. Unfastened the chain … Rita began to slowly recede. I continued to experiment and walked in the opposite direction. The monkey turned and, without speeding up the steps, continuing on the road to pluck the plant and dragged me. Immediately wanted to thank her for the attachment and allow to arrange a jumble on my head. As soon as she saw me go down on his haunches, then he turned around. Busily he sat, an old woman with his hands crossed on his chest, and began to gaze in fascination as my mop of hair falls lower and lower. Finally, with one hand in the direction of Rita threw a lock of my hair and the other finger became slightly parted potsarapyvat formed. In this case it gently sputter, constantly putting out his tongue, and sometimes pretended quest to succeed.
From that day I have not used the chain. Soon Rita became completely rely on the legs and sometimes even climb trees. By the middle of August (and got it to me in the beginning of May), the monkey was not found. She has acquired a fluffy bluish-gray hair, put on weight, became free to use all limbs. But one thing it did not change – the nastiness. If some men, she simply did not notice (they were lucky), then certainly women never left without the most careful attention. How many times I had to flee from the outraged aunts!

I decided to find a suitable monkey friend in existence of our animals. Of course, for this purpose would come to each monkey. But take some of her nowhere. I chose the turtle – because she really does not cause harm to Rita and – just as importantly – remain intact itself. When I picked up the turtle in hand, she quickly pulled her head and legs under the shell and as such appeared before the monkey interested. On her face clearly I read the question: “What is this cobblestone?”. I do not know how long have tormented her puzzled, but the reptile also showed curiosity and leaned out of the shell, with a single goal – to look around. With Rita there was a real hysteria. She rushed up to me, grabbed by the neck, pressed her face against my cheek and simply stunned shrill squeal. Not once I came to myself and realized that the main enemies of monkeys not only leopards, but snakes and boas. Head and dry in the folds of a turtle neck Rita took probably a snake.

After this incident, I have long hesitated to look for Rita buddies. But somehow passed cells with rabbits, I saw a white rabbit with black markings. Nothing to do his handsome appearance had a leopard or snake. Suitable. And at night, it becomes cool, will warm Rita – I thought, coming in with a rabbit monkey apartments. The monkey sat in a cage on a high shelf, and lazily nibbling an apple. I approached, he took the bunny’s ears and looked down on the shelf next to a monkey. Rita fingertips took the rabbit by the ears and went to the edge of the shelf and opened her fingers, not even curious as there bunny landed. As soon as I picked up the rabbit taken aback, and my head was on the shelf level, which continued to sit quietly monkey, she immediately attempted to explore my hair with the eternal hope for someone to discover them. It became clear that no remorse for committing a rascal act she had not experienced. Risk the health of the rabbit I got bigger.
I was the only companion and nurse Rita. Second it is particularly suited. We must pay tribute to Rita: from me all she suffered. I was able to open her mouth for examination and garden medications, measure the temperature, to punish the guilty, the number and variety of which had no boundaries.
Summer is over. In late September, I was told that either we remove somewhere far away a monkey, or its many victims united with the police and achieve closure dangerous station of young naturalists. At first I was terribly disappointed. Then it came up with a simple and clear thought: “After all, I can take Rita home.” Rita wrapped in a white bathrobe and hiding it from prying eyes (what it means to experience!) I walked home. I move on Leninsky Prospekt and hear the car horn. It was my father, who was riding home from work with his friend. Hooked on a conversation, they did not pay attention to the bundle in my arms. They arrived at the house, my father stayed with a friend.

It is necessary to say a few words about my sister Tonya. She is older than me by six years, and not only does not share my passion for animals, but is afraid of them.
I fluttered into the apartment with Rita. In my heart there was a feast. Mother and sister did not share my enthusiasm, but just have not had time … From bursting feelings, I forgot about the necessary precautions, Rita released her hand and she was on the loose. Start of the race my sister Rita and around the table. No, this is not the sister ran after Rita. Foreseeing a great opportunity to bite sister cheered her desperate cry of a monkey set off at a gallop behind her, leaving behind a small but very numerous and odorous marks. Another second and Tonya have trembled in her mouth, but the populous house, shaken by cries coming from our apartment, hastened to send us their valiant representative of Sasha, who, without hesitation (he was my age), grabbed Rita’s collar, and before she could cling to his nose, threw me. I locked a monkey in the bathroom, grabbed a rag and wipe the parquet raced powerfully fertilized Rita. Sister remembered that not long ago visited his grandmother and was gone, my mother cried. With a rag in hand, I approached her and begged calm, strongly emphasizing the atypical events and assured that Rita will be no more. Mom realized that long can not stand the smell of rags, walked away and tried to calm down. She still aware that monkey is not as dangerous as its predecessors in our house – the bear, the wolf, the white-tailed eagle, etc. In the bathroom I has washed rag, but get rid of it was not immediately apparent.. There was a need to wash and bathroom. This was a dull affair I found my father entered the apartment. Quickly assessing the situation, he opened the door to the bathroom and began the traditional elaboration. In the middle of a well-built and has repeatedly buffed tirade, he broke off, as the macaque siganula at him with unkind view. End of rant was already pronounced behind closed doors, but the audibility was excellent, so I could not later insist that he did not hear proposals today to carry away from home “damn ugly mug».

Once again, my father went about his business, I once again began the siege mother told her about my wonderful pupil, about which she was unhappy. Mom gave up, as it happened more than once, and went to cook dinner. Well-being was not destined to last. From the bathroom suddenly there was a heavy rumbling and ringing. I found a terrible picture: on the mezzanine above the bathtub, a monkey was sitting down, legs dangling, and a three-liter jar interfering with a ship’s minium car, terribly scarce, she simply threw it into the bathtub. The entire bath was flooded, there were no white spots. For my mother, who was awaiting sentence outside the door, I commented on what had happened in an extinct voice. After that, he shoved the monkey into an empty box from under the vacuum cleaner, and since the lid had been lost for a long time, he poked it with the open part against the hallway wall, supported it with something, and proceeded to wipe the bathtub. Mom, of course, helped. Each centimeter was wiped for a long time with household paste and acetone. The smell was unthinkable, dizzy. Finally, my mother trudged toward the sofa, and I began to equip the monkey.
Without turning on the light in the hallway, I approached the box in which the poor animal languished for about an hour. Moving the box away from the wall, I found a square of masonry by touch. The hard worker Rita was not sitting idle, but tearing off wallpaper and plaster along the entire perimeter available to her. This time I did not insist that Rita stay in the apartment at night. The danger of waking up in the open was too obvious.

Taking macaque under my arm, I went to the free basement of our entrance, where previously housed the “red corner”. There and left it overnight, tied on a long chain to the battery. Six o’clock in the morning there was a noise under our windows. I have long thought, “Again Rita someone tries to taste.” So it turned out. The old lady from next door, swinging a bag, frantically fought back from Rita, stamped her feet and tried to be baptized, calling on the help of God and man, certain that in front of her evil spirit. She cursed that power, me and our whole staircase, remembering some other our faults.
Several months Rita lived still in our Red in the corner for her facility with the help of my father and the neighbor cell. However, the cell does not prevent her to commit many more feats. In the spring, I returned it in Boring garden, where it is gradually gaining gentleness, lived to a ripe old age. I visited her, she was always joyfully recognize me.


This story I wrote in 1962, had never printed only once read it on the radio, too many years ago. I believe that the conduct of the observation of animals, not only dogs, is very useful for those who seriously decided to engage in cynology. These observations are helping to develop the right relationships with dogs, to avoid mistakes in their upbringing, sometimes unavoidable, for inexperienced dog owners.