Notes on a trip to the binding of the Kabbalah from the Zoosfere to Oksamita de Grande Vinko on April 08-10, 2011 g.


  • Michael, you’ve been in Norway? – Eugene G. Rosenberg voice on the telephone was a cheerful and a little bit mysterious
  • .         

  • No, – I answered, not yet fully woken up …

  • Do you have a reason to go there. Offered as a groom for Squirrels Oksamita. – I have said cheerfully EG
  • .

This proposal dispel remnants of sleep and inject me with an injection of enthusiasm. Bella and started to get ready to go.

Deducted from the owner Oksamita Glenn Karlsen, I began to work about a visa. It turned out that the Embassy of the Kingdom of Norway is not different availability and ease of communication inherent in northern monarchs. For example, the Norwegian King Olav took fifth on weekends skiing, beloved dog and went without any entourage and protection on a regular subway ride on the springboard Holmenkollen. But for a visa at the Norwegian Embassy for some reason, accompanied by some difficulties and formalities. But, fortunately, Norway is part of the Schengen area. So I turned to his friend, the owner of the Caspian Farid and it’s great I bailed – sent an invitation from France and I apply for a visa at the French embassy. Apparently, in the light of the recent assurances of love and cooperation between Sarkozy and Putin, the French gave me a multi-visa once a year. It is a pity that the salary does not allow the use of new opportunities to the fullest, but oh well.
Suddenly having problems at work. Some of the staff was ill, someone has gone on vacation and lose my person these days the authorities did not want.


  • – Well, you tell me, a matter of life and death? – I asked the chief editor, when I resolutely sailor Zheleznyaka staggered to his office
  • .         

  • – Well, of course! I told you – every year we Kabbalah spring we go to binding
  • !

With the doomed man, accidentally quarreled in a bar with Nikolai Valuev, the editor signed my statement, and I ran to the computer to book plane tickets.

A couple of days before departure for some reason, came to a page on LiveJournal Artem Dragunov, who allegedly joined in the night to the information field of the Earth and sees the past and the future. It is alleged that the boy had predicted the war in Libya and all the horror that happened in Japan. He also revealed the secret, for which he was killed Kennedy. It turns out that American intelligence agencies have killed him, as the president was going to tell the world that in 1947 really have a military base Rockwell crashed flying saucer. There’s also alleged that in April, did not recommended to fly, since all sorts of planes will fall with alarming frequency and regularity. Since I had already 4 flights (transplant in Berlin), the chance to become the hero of prophecy pretty much raised … On the last night before flying slept nervously, constantly waking up in the morning feeling overwhelmed.

In “Domodedovo”, contrary to rumors, no queues and crowding at the entrance was not. But really all the things carefully and to inspect passengers passed through the frame. Boxing for the dog through the frame does not pass, it inspected separately. Then we wrapped it with tape, without this box does not take the load, and I went to the vet. Seeing my European veterinary passport, the doctor said that in this case we could not take the certificate in vetstantsii, and slapped a stamp .. He also warned that for a trip to Norway should definitely have a test for antibodies to rabies. Well, what else at the time when you travel to Sweden this test we have done.

Kabbalah two burly guys took to load, and I went through passport control, this time with absolutely no queues, and sat in the Irish bar. Soon declared fit, I took my place at the tail of the aircraft after take-off and took the DVD and looked quite decent Russian comedy “Freaks” with Milla Jovovich, Khabensky and Urgant. So time passed fairly quickly.

After landing in Berlin and my luggage box with white automatically reloaded on another flight. Therefore, I went out into the city quite quickly. There I have met Alla Veysgeym, the owner of Vivienne Zoosfery. Since before the next flight still had enough time, we went to pass the time in the Chinese restaurant, where in addition to the conversation enjoyed rolls and shrimp.

Returning to the airport, I went to the hall of departure, I bought a couple of drinks in dyutike, I sat down on the chair, took a Chinese IPad, included Skype, called Dimona and …. Then I heard someone yelling my name with a terrible accent, looked up and saw the crowd of passengers rushing airport worker, constantly wailing: “Mikael will be back! Mikael will be back! “. I raised my hand, she immediately flew to me and strongly suggested to follow it – you need to check my box, because the dog wanted the drugs made him stand. Those who have read the stories about my past misfortunes, know that this is already happening in Düsseldorf, but then I generally dragged out of the plane and the flight was detained. So the surprise is I did not catch. To not pass re-examination, I chose a bag of bottles and IPad dyutike and handed to someone from the staff behind the counter. I light came out of the departure zone, then I was taken to the baggage inspection room, where there was a box with white. Allowed to bring the dog into the street, that I was very pleased, because Bela could pee and some exercise. No drugs in boxing did not find that does not surprise me, and allowed to return to the departures hall. Returning to the bar, where things were left, I found a lively staging: German girl workers airport, huddled around my IPad and with great curiosity listened to my Skype. I forgot to turn it off and Dimon continued to shout into the microphone, not understanding why I stubbornly silent. If the girls are studying the Russian language, I think, Dimon had time to acquaint them with a rich set of expressions that are not in the textbooks.

In Oslo arrived late. Local time was 23:20. I came in a giant hall baggage claim. Between countless baggage belts rode on scooters employees Gardemoena helping passengers. Near one of the walls already stood my boxing. I loaded up boxing and stuff on a cart and went to the exit. However, the customs have detained. Asked to produce documents to the dog. For a long time they were studied and finally declared that nothing in this do not understand and have to wait for the return of a veterinarian, who, because of the late hour, already went home.

He returned to the baggage hall, said Glenn, who was waiting for me in the street, I do not go out fast. Met with an employee of the airport, it was a Russian woman married to a Norwegian. He promised to help. But nothing is achieved. Finally, 40 minutes later, the vet came, opened the cell, Bel licked his face, he scratched her and said cheerfully, that it is possible to go. I shot out into the city in the arms of Glenn.

The road from Gardemoena in Sandefjord took more than 2 hours. On the way, the experts discussed – who as a judge, discussed various Dobermans, nurseries. Glenn said that in Norway were euthanized some dogs from Eastern Europe, including from Russia – they have shown any aggression towards people or other dogs. Also he said that in Norway is forbidden to drive with a dog in the car without a cage, for it can end up in prison.

So quietly in conversation, we arrived at the hotel Kong Carl. It was the beginning of the third night, and in Moscow respectively 04:15 am. Glen pulled my bag at reception while I went to release Bella out of the cage. He opened the box and realized that the leash was in the bag. Glenn shout: “Open the door, please, throw me your bag and leash.” He threw the leash, I even walk quickly Kabbalah and also moved into the reception. There noticed the hotel manager sniffing my bag. “Why’s that?”. When he came closer, all cleared. Litrushechka vodka, which I was carrying in a gift Glenn, was violently broken up, and all things pretty soaked in alcohol from the bag hit a stunning vodka spirit. However, it seemed to me that the manager took this fact without disgust, most with clear respect for me.

Hotel Kong Karl was very enjoyable. Wooden building in 1690 with a luxurious interior and spacious rooms. For breakfast served pineapples, watermelon, melon, scrambled eggs, ham, smoked meat, salami, shrimp, several species of herring. True it is a pleasure more than 100 euros per night per room. But Norway generally expensive country. “Big Mac” at McDonalds -. 350 rubles, if converted to Russian currency, the beer in the bar – 10 euros, the cheapest store – 75 rubles. All the alcohol is sold only in specialized state store “wine monopoly”. At night, you can only drink in a nightclub, where the prices paying attention even wealthy buyers.

I walked around the neighborhood, went to the seashore, where there were hundreds of moored boats and yachts. Locals are sent to them on a boat ride or fishing. Glenn told me that you can easily catch myself a couple of salmon dinner. And near the pier where the ferry comes to big, where you can go in Sweden. And I was struck by the weather and the sun. One well-known Norwegian writer said: “In search of the light go north.” In fact, the sun is white, very bright, it actually hangs over the horizon and simply dazzles. A summer weather. During the day you can easily walk into a T-shirt. So much for the north.

After the fjords took off the local church, and the Baptist church, the types of the town center, the flower shop. And then me and we drove Glenn drove Kabbalah on a date with Oksamita.


Before this Oksamita I have seen only in photographs. My expectations, he lived fully. Handsome, strong, with great expression, very attentive and active in the work and perfectly calm at home. As soon as he is offered a game or training – it is with great desire and passion is activated as soon as he is told that classes were over, Oksamit sent in its place and does not stick to any hosts or the guests, not whining and asks nothing. We also take pictures, we helped charming wife Miriam Glenn.


Some time after tying Glenn tested and Kabbalah. Simulated attack at her hideout, armed with a stack, and then asked her to keep Oporto and provoked Belo to let him go, throwing her to the ball. Bela and in the shelter showed their defensive qualities and Oporto did not quit. Glenn was very pleased, and said that he was thinking in this case, take a puppy from our combination.

After all the affairs Glenn led me to some doroguschy restaurant have whale meat. This is a real delicacy, and if used in the Norwegian whale hunting was very common (in Sandefjord there is even a museum dedicated to the whalers), now China production is very limited and these meals are served only in special restaurants.

Whale meat was very tasty, somewhat reminiscent of tuna and consistency of the tender veal. Glenn also took me to the whole range of Norwegian alcohol. Basically it was Akavit (Aquavit) – Norwegian national drink made from potato spirit, infused on cumin, coriander, cinnamon, anise, St. John’s wort and other spices.. I particularly liked the variety Aquavit Linie. The word “line” in this case means the equator. According to legend, the drink has appeared in ancient times, when one day the oak barrels Akavita taken to the southern hemisphere, and then reattached. As a result, the barrel twice crossed the equator and beverage acquired a very rich and special taste.

After a seafood restaurant, we moved into a Greek tavern, which brought together numerous relatives Glenn. He took me to all get acquainted and we dosidela until late at night.

On the way back, Glenn took me in Oslo. A bit of a walk to the city center, watched the red light district, where, as they say, the Kingdom of girls from Russia, Ukraine and the Baltic countries, saw the town hall, government building, drank beer in the central square and went to the airport. On the way I told Glenn that every time somewhere meal, I adventure – can not normally fly. In Paris, when I was knitting Kabbalah to the Caspian Sea, there was a terrible traffic jam, we were late for the flight. Glenn was laughing, having fun, and then, look, his laughter becoming increasingly strained. And I suddenly realized that we were quite a long time barely crazy about. I looked at the road – and there is a long, long line of dull braiding machines. Glenn turned on the radio. There, on a purely Norwegian something reported, and with a rather alarming tone. Glenn turned to me and also with undisguised dismay on his face said: “I think it will happen to you again.” I chuckled. It’s just some kind of Groundhog Day! I even wrote about this SMS Natasha Romanova. Fortunately, the plug suddenly resolved, the last kilometers we have traveled with decent speed and to the airport, I arrived on time.


In Moscow, came back at 2am. On the one hand hard. And on the other – in “Domodedovo” was no queues at passport control! Time – and all! And even I found a taxi quickly, however, for 2.5 thousand., But all the same airport, a night, a huge box. Tolerated. Overall the trip was very exciting, rich, informative, and for the first time without incident.