Going to Vikings and Fjords

Confused notes about the misadventures of a poor dobermanist

To prepare for the trip to Sweden for the World Cup and IDC I started almost a year. It’s not that much worried about the organization of the trip, although this time there, but just to escape from the house in Europe for me as a breath of fresh air. Well, if you start cooking ahead of time, in dreams, as it were already transfers itself to the fertile land of the Old World. However, I do not know, I would venture to travel, if Nostradamus had talent.

So, a small group of people who suffer from claustrophobia bus and pains in the joints and spine during malokomfortnom move, decided to go to Sweden under its own power and with maximum convenience. Group commander was appointed Lyubov Fedorova, the owner of Damayanti Zoosfery and political instructor, I acted.
Immediately after returning from Venice, with IDC-2007 confirmed, in what numbers and where will be the next championship, Luba contacted SAS – Swedish airline about our trip with the dogs in Stockholm. The beauty of this trip was the fact that the dogs of this airline carries a fixed rate of $ 50 as opposed to the other, where the flight will cost the pet with the cell of at least $ 800.

Dear and active SAS representative office manager in Moscow offered to immediately issue the tickets, received confirmation from the head office and we are paying money and taking on the hands on tickets to the Treasury places on four dogs, went shopping in search of drinks, which would not be ashamed to mention such a cleverly conceived and successful operation.
However bummer not long in coming. Just a few days later the manager called back. His voice was as a teenager, his father caught a pack of cigarettes. With regret, he said that the head office suddenly changed his mind. The reason for such an amazing variability lies alleged that porters airlines went on strike and now do not intend to lift loads heavier than 32 kg, and as boxes with dogs will weigh more, …
The next day we went and passed all the tickets. The band broke up. I decided to buy a ticket on Aeroflot plane because it is cheaper than the SAS, and the dog sent by bus, accompanied by Irina Green. I did. Moreover. Handed over documents to the travel agency, causing extreme surprise at such an early customer treatment, book a hotel in Nischepinge in Sweden from June 30 to July 4, I received a visa and went back to the store for a drink.
But bummer not want to leave me. He came suddenly and unexpectedly, as a tax inspector with unscheduled inspections. Irina did not grin passport. Her Princess Black Pearl from Zoosfery agreed to take Anastasia Kaminska, and for my Kabbalah there was no place on the ferry as the ferry company confirmed only a certain number of dogs for the group, follow the bus.

The search dobermanistov are sent to the machine that could capture the Kabbalah with him, without success, and tickets for Aeroflot flights suffered consider tickets for the Swedish airline.
Fortunately, at that moment Lyuba still nothing defined Fedorova, and the team was re-established. Using the Internet, we have launched a massive logistical operation. To go by train to Riga and Helsinki, and there on the ferry? It is possible, but will have to redeem all of the compartment and then the whole day waiting for the evening ferry, as in the morning we did not have time. With things and dogs is problematic. Request Baltic Airlines. However, they refused to carry dogs weighing more than 24 kg. There remained only the airline AirBerlin, which took large dogs, but not more than 4 boxes for the flight at the price of EUR 30 per dog.

The next day, on Saturday hosted the famous Love Parade, which was broadcast for several hours in the air a few broadcasters. The studios were very important uncle, who commented and discussed frames with eccentric fellows, wag their bare backsides, burly girl, showing bare breasts at the camera, pimply youths, absorbing the rain beer and starikanov, staring at the action greedy eyes.
Well, the next day in the morning on Sunday we went to the airport to meet the cheerful and carefree Stockholm. Took boxes of storage, put them in the dogs and went to the front desk. Young people have already started to write out boarding passes, as here come from somewhere very corpulent German, something reminded me of Bok. After examining closely our boxes, she said, that my boxing is not necessary, as too small and would not let me land.

Any flew with Damayanti one, and I was left standing in the departure hall without reservation to the hotel, without a plane ticket, and without a clear understanding of where to get a new cell. Bok my fate and the fate of the dog is no longer excited, so pulled out of her bag bins giant and mauled a donut, she went to the coffee machine.
Out on the street, I met a remarkable Turk-taxi driver who, using the word “shaysen” a couple of times, explained to me what was going on in Germany. He advised to go to the Cargo Center and learn something about buying a new box.

In the land of nod reigned Cargo Center. All the doors were open, but could not find people. Soon, however, a tall worker advanced years, who reported that no one is working on a day off, but seems to be after 15 hours may open office “Lufthansa Cargo”. We turned around and went to the hotel. My imagination painted a bleak picture: I’m pretty emaciated, dusty and tattered trousers sing near the Brandenburg Gate “forgotten pozabroshen” rather sad Bella sits next to and holding a baseball in his mouth, in which the dull gleam of 20 cents


The number in the hotel I was given the same, showed no surprise. Only cost it is now almost 2 times more expensive – campaign dedicated to “Love Parade” ended. The taxi driver promised to be back by 15 o’clock. I sat behind the Internet to buy new tickets. Checking different dates, make sure to place on a no dogs. The reception was advised to go to the airport and go through the offices of airlines.

At the airport, the first thing I came across the “Lufthansa” office and went there. But they were able to offer a flight to Stockholm via Frankfurt the total price in 1251 euros. The other companies did not have tickets to the 30th of June. Finally, my eye was caught with a colorful signboard office “Sex tours to Thailand. Airline ticketing in all directions.” Employee explaining their problems, I began nervously pacing the hall. Finally, it’s good news. We were able to negotiate in “ErBerlin” to another place for dogs, however, the ticket per person will cost 304 euros. Search for something different sense was not, and I happily bought the ticket.

However, by logging on to the mailbox, I found a letter from the airline, from which it became clear that while I was looking for flights, I somehow bought 4 tickets for a total amount of EUR 1000 … na-ba-ba-bum !! Now I understand why the credit card did not work in the “Lufthansa Cargo” – it simply blocked. Cursing himself and the strange Internet system, I flew into the office of the airline. I was not surprised at all there and was told that this happens often, and canceled the extra tickets. Back at the hotel and entered the Internet, I discovered that it was another letter from the purchased airline tickets. I returned to the airline’s office and canceled the last of accidentally purchased tickets. I felt perhaps that feels Olympian marathoner who crosses the finish line first – the joy, euphoria and a hell of fatigue. He went into the airport store and bought three cans of beer and … forgot them by the kiosk with newspapers, when he wanted to buy the sports press today about the European Football Championship final. I flew into the street in search of a taxi. Once in the taxi thought of the beer, the taxi driver said “the moment”, flew back to the airport, then the kiosk, take the pot, to which no one paid attention, and returned to the car.

When he came in the room, I changed into swimming trunks, took a beer and went out the back door to the pool. He plunged into the transparent surface of the water, made a victory cry of the Iroquois and straight into the pool volley vyhlestal famous “Berliner Pilsner”, prompting envious glances of some guests who were sitting nearby in a deck chair with a very prim wives. Coming out of the pool, I realized that I go to the room through the back door can not be – it was closed. I had to go almost naked in swimming trunks, from which flowed the water, through the hotel’s restaurant. The restaurant has come a deathly silence. Left rang out the sound of falling plates. Girl with a reception whispered administrator from what I rooms and one knowingly nodded his head, did not bring me to claim.

The next day c heavy heart and trembling at the knees, I took his former box in the trash and with a new box went to the airport. In the plane I was seated with no problems. But Stockholm met horrific rain and a huge airport infrastructure. To pass the box in the luggage I had to proceed from Terminal 2 to Terminal 5. The distance was quite impressive among them. Suffice it to say that between the terminals of buses. However, in my boxing coach, obviously from a collection of personal belongings of Gargantua and Pantagruel, could not squeeze. Then I gathered the remnants of the forces, hoisted it on the cart, put on top of things, a dog leash in his mouth and took off on foot, washed Stockholm rainfall. Soon, the pavement ended, and I had to go along a narrow roadway. Raced towards the buses. Seeing me, the drivers first widely opened eyes, then abruptly braked, and then twisted his finger to his temple. I can imagine how much the Swedish mat was heard at that moment in the cabin of the bus from the citizens were not able to resist in the braking time. But I firmly walked towards my goal, I have gotten a second, no third breath! I knew that no one in this world, no NATO force, no European officials and pettifoggers not be able to stop me from getting to the 5th terminal.